I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
