I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
