the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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