there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
