I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
