his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
