Quick, to the slutcave!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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