I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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