I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
