Duck Duck Cougar?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
