Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
