Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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