Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
