apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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