So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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