Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
