Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
