You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
