Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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