eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
