FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
