I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
