you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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