Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
