Soap is not a condiment
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
