id be glad to
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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