Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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