did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
