Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
