Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
