somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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