Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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