Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
