i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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