yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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