i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
