he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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