Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
