i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
