I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
