that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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