can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
