We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
