Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
