Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
