She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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