how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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