Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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