There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
