Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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