next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
