well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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