did you get engaged???
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
