I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
