You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I love you.
Bad choice
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
