Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
